Mrs North Carolina educates the general public on what not to say to couples struggling with infertility

• Don’t ask someone when he or she is going to have kids, she said.
• Don’t ask someone why he or she doesn’t have kids yet.
• Don’t ask a woman how long each of her pregnancies lasted.
• If a couple gets married, rather than jumping right into the children questions — just tell them congratulations.
• If someone has a boy, don’t ask when she is having a girl.
• Don’t ask someone why he or she only has one child. Don’t say: “You should just adopt. So many kids need to be adopted.”
• Don’t tell a woman: “At least you know you can get pregnant.”
• Don’t tell a woman to stop stressing and thinking about it, because that’s when pregnancy will happen.
• Don’t tell a woman not to wait too long. “There’s so much pressure and societal expectations — that’s a zinger every time a woman hears that,” she said.

One challenge with sharing her story publicly has been all the unwanted medical advice, she said. “Everyone has a sister or cousin who went through this,” she said, so naturally, people want to offer suggestions. They mean well, but Sublett said she’s most likely tried it all.

From article by Melissa Oyler

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